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| 24 August, 1980 |
[August 25 2009] |
[Private]
I am twenty years old. Within in the next two weeks I will have five children, three of them infants. Somebody sent me a dead rat and I don't know who not because it is unthinkable, but because there are too many people who hate me. I am fairly certain from the way both Severus and Narcissa dodged the question that my father and husband lied to me about the veracity of the accusations, though I cannot really blame them. Everyone is aware that my place in life is to be innocent and unsullied and not to concern my pretty little head with the troubles of real life.
As often as I've reaped the benefits of that, I hardly have room to complain. I could try to make myself stronger, but I'm not even sure how - if I managed to educate myself to the point where I was confident in my ability to make intelligent conversation on many subjects, I would continue to be treated the same way. We judge each other based on the past, as it is impossible to see a person's true being.
If after everything was over, and it was not treason anymore, we could move to France and start over where we're not reviled like this.
Or I could continue to simply raise children and speak of flowers and pretty things, which would no doubt be easier. Would that be a disservice to myself, though? Surely I'm capable of more. Not so much as Corbina, but some.
I have little to do but read at present anyway.
[/Private]
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| 22 August, 1980 |
[August 23 2009] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 stressed |
] |
[Narcissa]
I do not like what is happening. Marius and my father have told me not to worry, that it is all lies, but I find myself wondering if they would tell me the truth, and it's awful because they are my family and I want to believe that they wouldn't outright lie to me. But even if I am simply tired and overwrought and imagining things and it is all false, you must be feeling even worse than I am. I know that the very idea of supporting a plan like this would be very painful to you, and that you would not choose it if there were a better option. I'm sorry you've been dragged into the public eye like this.
I worry that Lily Potter's accusations have weight to them as well.
Surely this is not His plan for us. For you. You deserve to be raising as many children as your heart desires, not any of this.
[/Narcissa]
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| 20 August, 1980 |
[August 21 2009] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 shocked |
] |
[Daddy, Marius]
That's not true, is it??
[/Daddy, Marius]
[Private]
It has to be lies, we wouldn't why would we?
How could they make up something so outlandish
It looks real, but it can't be, they're babies, I don't
[/Private]
[Private]
It's not true.
[/Private]
[Private]
What if I'd had my baby early?
[/Private]
[Severus]
It's They're making it up aren't they?
We wouldn't
There's no reason!
[/Severus]
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| 12 August, 1980 |
[August 13 2009] |
[Private]
I want to slap those stupid little girls. They make us look completely ridiculous and their misguided self-importance only makes it worse. No doubt they think they're terribly clever, but when their role models are either Gaius Travers or someone who doesn't care what his sister makes of herself in public there is hardly a way to disabuse them of the notion.
I wish France wou I'm not even sure how much of this I can share with Marius, let alone whether we might be overheard and recorded in our own home. And I'm practically housebound and those photos are awful and I wish I couldn't see any logic in what they say I just want my baby and Georgina back and Rodolphus to be alive.
[/Private]
[Severus & Corbina, in separate but identical wards]
I was never that silly.
[/Severus, Corbina]
[Marius]
I wan
Would you excuse it due
[Private]
I hope I can keep this from the boys, at least. I don't know how I would explain it to them, when I want them to believe that respect is a virtue of the highest order.
[/Private]
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| 9 August, 1980, deux |
[August 10 2009] |
[Mr Macnair]
I apologise if I am overstepping my bounds, but I felt you ought be aware that your sister is acti embarrassing herself quite tremendously in conversation with terrorists on the matter of the death of, as I understand it, the one week old child of the Longbottoms. I suggested to her that the terrorists have a history of twisting the words of those they disagree with and that they would likely attempt to make her look bad, but I fear that as she continues her words increasingly do not need twisting. Naturally your judgement on the situation would be far superior to my own, but I could not feel right without being sure you knew what was happening.
[/Mr Macnair]
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| 9 August, 1980 |
[August 10 2009] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 aggravated |
] |
[Private]
I have a headache simply reading that. I know she is grieving but must she act like a shrieking harpie? Surely there are more effective ways that do not make us look quite so insane. How is this behaviour not worse than speaking back to one's betters?
[/Private]
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| 2 August 1980 |
[August 03 2009] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
poisonous |
] |
[Private]
If I did not know that Bellatrix would do far worse, I'd indulge myself in making a list of all the things I wish to do to him right now. One cannot simultaneously believe that we have no feelings and deliberately seek to hurt them and there is far more evidence for the lack of his than Demetrius'.
I don't like all this spite and bitterness.
[/Private]
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| 1 August 1980 |
[August 02 2009] |
[Marius]
I would like to go back to the manor please. I will bring calming draught with me, and if I attend to things in the kitchen I will try to remain seated. I would like to feel useful, and making sure that at least some of the wine is soaked up by food would ease my mind some.
[/Marius]
[Corbina]
I am asking Marius if I may be allowed to come off of hysteria watch and visit. I hope you'll allow me to give you a hug. I also asked Bellatrix if she needed help with anything, but she says she is handling it. I am given entirely too much time to think, especially when taken into account that I am only able to see the children for limited periods in fear of exhaustion or overexcitement. I wonder if all women are treated so utterly fragile when pregnant, but I don't wish for anyone to become further upset so I am humouring them.
I think Alexis has started to say "boo!" when we play, but I may be imagining it. She and Iris both have the most lovely giggles.
I love you.
[/Corbina]
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| 31 July 1980 |
[August 01 2009] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 calm |
] |
[Corbina]
How are you feeling today? Daddy has been making me take calming draughts, I don't think I really need them but I did get more sleep than usual last night. They don't stop me from feeling terribly sad, either. They are simply afraid I'll have the baby early and even though I'm extremely tired of being huge and uncomfortable I wouldn't want to. It would be wrong to take any attention away. I would like to go back to your house but even the slightest exertion has been strongly discouraged so I'm afraid I am to stay here for a while longer. Lapin is keeping me company and he doesn't mind me crying into his fur.
[/Corbina]
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| 29 July 1980 |
[July 30 2009] |
[Bellatrix, Corbina]
And is the werewolf dead?
[/Bellatrix, Corbina]
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| 29 July 1980 |
[July 30 2009] |
[Corbina, Mr MacNair]
What is being discussed?
[/Corbina, Mr MacNair]
[Corbina]
I would like to scratch Sirius' eyes out.
[/Corbina]
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| 28 July 1980 2.0 |
[July 29 2009] |
[Corbina, Rabastan, Bellatrix]
Is Marius with you?
[/Corbina, Rabastan, Bellatrix]
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| 28 July 1980 |
[July 29 2009] |
[Corbina, Marius]
Has there been any news?
[/Corbina, Marius]
[Private]
Sebastien
Arnaud
Bertrand
Alcander
Olivier?
Jasper
Jean-Luc, Jean-Paul
Nothing that begins with an L.
[/Private]
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| 24 July 1980 |
[July 25 2009] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 above these shenanigans |
] |
[Private]
Oh, good lord. I shan't be surprised to see half our number simply encourage this ridiculousness.
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| 21 July 1980 |
[July 22 2009] |
I stopped briefly by the Foundation clinic today and it was heartening to see women taking advantage of the services offered for expectant mothers. It can certainly be overwhelming to be looking forward to your first and the information the Healers can offer looks to be quite useful - not to mention the peace of mind from a general health check up. I believe I'll make a proper appointment early next month.
Even those earlier along could find benefit in speaking to the staff, though I would likely suggest making an appointment rather than stepping in, as they tell me it has been quite busy recently. They can offer some good advice on the best foods and exercises to ensure the health of both mother and baby, and even if you have been ignorant of these before, there are still many things to learn that will help as your due date approaches. Without healthy mothers and healthy children, our future is decidedly uncertain.
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| 20 July 1980 |
[July 21 2009] |
[Private]
I am tired. I cannot give them their mother back. All I can do is try to ease the hurt and try not to take it personally when they're angry with me.
And there have been more posters. I find myself little able to care; it won't change anything. We have gathered too much momentum for anything to be enough to halt it, now.
I feel awkward considering what I could write about the children outside of wards but I refuse to treat them like a half-secret. They have done nothing wrong. Especially the twins. Though as they babble and gurgle I can't bring myself to encourage them to associate me with "mama". Tante is probably more appropriate, and at least I can honestly say that the French is far more manageable for a small child than the English "aunt".
[/Private]
[Narcissa]
As so many people know that I'm quite heavily pregnant, I thought it may be appropriate to mention something about the calls for expectant mothers to visit the Foundation clinics. I wouldn't wish to contradict anything, though - do you have any ideas on what it would be safe for me to say about what the visit entails? I expect I would likely comment on planning to go in next month, as I'm not due until the first half of September.
[/Narcissa]
It is just as well that Lapin is placid and lazy, as unless he ignores me entirely he will no doubt have to deal with rambunctious young children for years yet. Luckily he has shown remarkable forbearance today in having his fur grabbed, though even his patience runs out sooner or later.
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| 16 July, 1980 |
[July 17 2009] |
( Private )
[Daddy]
They wouldn't really send Mrs Mulciber - or any of the rest of us - to the Rehabilitation Centre, would they?
[/Daddy]
[Severus]
I cannot decide whose behaviour I find most distasteful, at present.
[/Severus]
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| 26 June, 1980 |
[June 27 2009] |
[Private]
It has been a full day and I wonder what will have to be done if they are imprisoned, or worse. At least they have dedicated servants who care about them - I'm so glad for Miss Felicity, and Mdm Nott was exceedingly helpful last night and this morning, but of course married to Mr Nott she has a certain conflict of interest, however dear to her Chloris must have been. I doubt asking any of the family about Chloris specifically would be a good idea and I'm not entirely sure how to broach the subject of the children either.
[...readable by Marius]
I'm loathe to leave the babies especially in their home even under the care of servants. I suppose the most practical thing is to bring all four children here to Cedar Cottage, with Felicity, as the boys are unsettled enough without taking all that is familiar away. Not ideal, but as a temporary solution it will do.
I shall have to decide how best to explain this to the boys in a way they can understand.
[/Private]
[Corbina]
I hope today has been better. I feel as though half of society has likely spent it searching for flaws in their security, though I would prefer they do that to the exclusion of gossip. Personally I am exhausted and barely up to the task of wondering whether it would be more appropriate to send Mr Warrington's (presumed) widow a sympathy bouquet or one of congratulations.
[/Corbina]
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| 25 June, 1980 |
[June 26 2009] |
[Private]
I cannot I knew that Chloris could not like the idea of Corbina training, but this is
And to have Lestrange family business aired so publically is appalling regardless of the content of it. I was not even included in any discussions about it, which is fair, I suspect, as it relates mostly to Rodolphus and Chloris and Corbina - and Rabastan, apparently, and I've not yet been here so long that And that is not even relevant, it is simply meaningless scrawling in the hopes that my thoughts will disentangle themselves along with the movement of my quill. The lines of ink, though, are rather more controllable.
What are we coming to? Even when we have effectively won, the last few of our enemies are proving that they will stop at nothing to undermine us and sow dissension. All we can do is kill them or put them in the Rehabilition Centre, and they become martyrs for their "cause". And now that they know that Corbina has taken up training it is ever more likely that they will target her. I can't lose her, not after Georgina.
[/Private]
[Chloris, readable by Mdm Nott]
I cannot recall ever learning what the appropriate thing to say in I do not and cannot think less of you for wanting to keep your family safe. It is what we are supposed to be fighting for, and I may be a silly little girl who does not understand politics but I do not understand how something could not have been arranged.
[/Chloris, Claudette]
ETA:
[Marius]
I am going to Burke Manor; Demetrius is arresting Mr Burke and Chloris for conspiracy to commit treason and she doesn't want to leave the children with the servants.
[/Marius]
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| 10 June, 1980 |
[June 11 2009] |
[Narcissa]
How are you feeling? I hope Draco is doing well; I know you weren't due yet but I'm sure you're giving him every necessary attention. If there's anything you need that I could possibly help with I would be happy to arrange it for you.
[/Narcissa]
[Chloris]
This waiting wears at me. Would you like to take tea sometime?
[/Chloris]
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